The first day isn’t about a flawless goodbye without a single tear — it’s about getting through it as calmly as possible, for both child and parent. Here’s a short, practical plan.
Step 01
A few days before the first day
- Calmly explain to your child what to expect — in simple words, with no sharp surprises;
- If possible, visit together for a short introductory meeting — see the group and the teacher in advance;
- A few days ahead, try to bring the home routine closer to the kindergarten’s routine;
- Pack everything in advance, not in a morning rush — fewer reasons for unnecessary stress that way.
In short
The fewer surprises and less rush that morning has, the more calmly it usually goes — for both the child and the parent.
Step 02
The morning of the first day
It’s a good idea to allow more time that morning than seems necessary. Rushing transfers to your child almost instantly.
- Get up a bit earlier than usual so the morning doesn’t turn into a race;
- A calm breakfast — not the morning to experiment with new food;
- A light, good mood matters more than a perfectly packed bag;
- On the way to kindergarten — something familiar and pleasant: a favorite song, a chat about what will happen at home that evening.
Step 03
What to bring
- A change of clothes and underwear — at least one full set;
- A favorite toy or object from home — something to remind your child of a familiar setting;
- A water bottle labeled with your child’s name;
- A filled-out questionnaire about your child’s habits, if the kindergarten requests one.
For a more detailed everyday list, see our separate guide on what to pack for kindergarten.
Step 04
How to say goodbye the right way
How you say goodbye affects your child’s mood more than you’d think.
- A short, warm, predictable ritual — for example, a hug and the same phrase every day;
- Don’t drag out the goodbye — long persuasion and repeated returns usually only increase anxiety, not reduce it;
- Speak calmly and confidently, even if you’re anxious inside — your child picks up on the tone faster than the words;
- Always be honest about when you’ll be back — «after lunch» or «when it gets dark outside» is clearer than an abstract «soon.»
Leaving confidently, even if your child is crying, usually helps more than staying a bit longer to calm them down — that’s what most kindergarten teachers report from experience.
— practical advice for the first day
Step 05
If something doesn’t go as planned
Tears, a brief tantrum before leaving the house, or a hard morning aren’t reasons to think the first day was a failure.
- If your child cries at drop-off, that’s a normal reaction, not a warning sign;
- Agree in advance with staff on how and when they’ll let you know if your child is struggling during the day;
- Try not to cancel the day over morning tears — your child usually calms down and joins group life over the course of the day;
- If difficult reactions repeat day after day without improvement, it’s worth talking to staff about a more gradual pace.
Frequently asked questions
How long does the first day at kindergarten usually last?
At most kindergartens, the first days are shorter than a full day — your child stays for a few hours, and the time gradually increases as they adjust.
Should I stay in the classroom on the first day?
Worth coordinating this with staff in advance — at some kindergartens a short parental presence in the first few minutes helps, at others a different approach is used.
Is it normal for a child to cry the entire first day?
Yes, this is a common reaction on the first day. Usually the important indicator isn’t the absence of tears, but whether your child gradually calms down over the course of the day and joins in.
What if I cry myself when saying goodbye?
That’s normal too — the first-day goodbye is emotional for parents as well. Try not to show anxiety to your child in the moment of the goodbye itself, and deal with your feelings afterward, out of their sight.
This material is for general informational purposes and is based on common practice for children adjusting to early-childhood institutions. For persistent difficulties in the first few days, discuss the situation with the kindergarten staff or a pediatrician.
Looking for a kindergarten for your little one in Haifa?
Navon is a bilingual kindergarten (Hebrew and Russian) for children from 3 months to 5 years old. We’ll help make the first day go smoothly.
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